Give Gurdjieff a chance...

"Don't tell me I haven't been good to you,
Don't tell me I have never been there for you,
Just tell me why nothing is good enough."
- Sara McLachlan

There was so much anticipation, it was like having the high beams on in the midst of moistened air, a dense fog; it was palpable.

If for anything, the moments I enjoyed most of that night were those engulfed in laughter and bliss. Those two souls that touched once before were embraced in each others limbs as they uplifted one another to a point past virtue and beauty, in an undying, brilliant morning star.

For all that I learned that night, about history, philosophy, spirituality and myself, all that does not surpass the value of laughter that was so mutual, so knowing and kind, so comforting and gentle, and was no less innocent than the sweetest first kiss.

I can honestly say that through the entire night, no one in that room could remotely say that they were unhappy.

When I arrived home, the man was at the desk and I was brimming with joy and knowledge. It didn't take him long to smother my happines, all he had to do was sit and say nothing at all. It's the silence that kills me, the cold and crafted silence that punishes you for every waking moment until it is broken by compromise.

I left the bottle of Tito's at your house. You can get it back to me later, I'll call you.

"And I would be the one,
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I'd take your breath away.
After that wipe away your tears,
Just close your eyes, dear."

-Sarah McLachlan